The Genius is back.

Okay, after so long i finally got the mood to blog AGIAN.
Recently D&T and Northzone occupied all my time and made me neglect alot of other stuff.
D&t is freaking hard!
Like seriously.
Do 5 problem situation and skip to ideation within 1 week? Its IMPOSSIBLE!
Like duh! -.-"
That rambutan didn't even let us do research or even look at our progress.
Asshole! Think you gay and freaky i will be scared of you uh.
Not!..
Had training today, not really tough but i suck.
Get it?
Sometimes really wonder why the hell am i even trying.
During sec 2 basketball was like the only reason i am living.
Now to me it is just something i fail in.
Always being slow and stupid. Can't help feeling bloody inferior.
I tried okay, maybe just not hard enough.
Don't understand why my brains and my actions just can't match.
The feeling of Bench warmers & the refill-water-girl just keep staying there.
Its not that we don't put in as much effort as others okay, just that we are in a sense not that gifted. We are used to being taken for granted anyway. Right?
I wanna get my old motivation back. Help, anyone?
Those times when i play basketball everyday after school and gym during weekends.
At least i felt happy and enjoyed those games. No stress no nothing.
Now i sort of lost that feeling, somehow.
I am just getting more and more depressed after every match/training.
No skill, stamina, brains.
Basically i am just there to be another 'heater' & 'decoration'.
At least i got my jersey and an excuse to shut the mouths of those who used to (maybe will again) laugh at me for wasting 4 years of my life in something i totally suck at.
Crying ain't gonna help. I know. But at least i won't go crazy of thinking too much.
The last year of basketball, i will try to enjoy every second that i can stay in that court to replace someone else. Or at least enjoy cheering i guess.
Idk why they hate being scolded but it is better than walking around and no one cares a shit about what you do.
But i still wish all the best for the team cause you girls are strong, very strong.
So strong that i feel that my existence is there to pull you girls down.
Studies wise haven't change much.
Chinese, Humans, Maths, Dnt are my main focus and Poa, English & Science i just have no idea what to do with them.


Not trying to be emo or anything just let me cry the shit out and eveything will be fine. I hope.
Wow. I wrote so much already. Haha.
Kay i am going to bed in case i start eating.
Bye :))