林倩瑩--

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2011-06-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

Just realise i'm quite an irritating person.
Sounds weird to hear it from myself but yeah, i admit to a certain extend.
Hahah, Anyway i'm off to FB Camp tmr! For 3 days ya know..
I wonder how camp feels like since the last one i had was like 2 years ago?
Recently met with many old friends and i seriously miss the old days.
I might sound like an old hag but it's true!
I think i always have this "I wanna kill all the guys in the world" kinda mindset when i'm having pms. It's not an excuse girls use okay!
Forget it, guys can never get us.
Wish me luck for camp and hopefully i can stop being sucha loner. Ha!

Why must you always appear when i wanna forget you most?
You look so happy, you really do. I sound like sucha ass.

It's just me.

2011-05-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

니가 노무 보고싶다. 일년 지나서 나는 누구 기다리다.

I'm looking back.

2011-05-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

Now, it feels like i stabbed you with a dagger. Turn away. And stab myself back in guilt. If, you get what i'm trying to say.

...

2011-05-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

到今天才发现，那时的你是付出得那么多，那么的辛苦，无知的我只会抱怨。有时会有一点怀念你的好，就一点点，那么一点点。

Over the top.

2011-01-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

L1R5- 13
L1R4- 9.
My results gave me a shock.
Though i know i'm naturally clever ;P but i didn't know i'll do that well.
Haha, my Jae form has been submitted and all thats left shall be decided by fate then.

Its been a long long time.

2011-01-03T08:17:00.000-08:00

Just suddenly felt the need to revive you.
Work has taken most of my time and everyone's starting to feel so distant to me.
Gotten into a i-complicate-things-too-much kinda state lately.
My life feels so messed up.
All thats left are the results then.

那样的月色太美你太温柔, 才会在刹那之间只想和你一起到白头

I'm sorry i lied.

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

Today is mother's day and my house is currently having aunties mahjong session. ;0
Yesterday bought alot of flowers to celebrate in advance.
I managed to promote my jap shows to jiayu. Haha
She is now officially hooked.
Anyone else??
Currently having at least 12 hours of sleep daily am so enjoying myself.
Please let holidays come faster.
Bye people!

...

2010-04-19T06:19:00.000-07:00

HOT!

Currently watching jap shows.

Ultimate hot guy!!
Mukai Osamu is hot.

Hahaha.

Picture above shows some of the characters in the show.

Got Cute guy also.

Haha.

Don't get too jealous alright.

AnNyeong!

Study

2010-04-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

MID YEAR EXAMS ARE COMING!

Its so freakin fast.

And I'm so not feeling the stress.

Some one save me please!

Haha.

Currently damn bored waiting for it to reach 11.30 to see my Guen Suk!

Hahaha,

i found my list of top 10 boyfriends!

Rank:

1) Key Kimkibum!

2) Choi MinHo

3) Lee HongGi

4) Kim jongHyun

5) Nickhun

6)Jung Guen Suk

7)Ruan JingTian

8) G-dragon

9)Shin DongHo

10) Onew

Haha.

Everyone is jealous right.

All the ultra hotties.

GOODnight. I'm going to find my Boyfriends :D

.

2010-03-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

I heard the song they were talking about, i found it so familar.
Then i remembered i always hear it on your mp3, just that i didn't notice.
琴声为什么那么痛，冰淇淋为什么不再是我能疗伤的药？

Dive Trip.

2010-03-25T06:32:00.000-07:00

Spot the fish.

Muscles tearing.

2010-03-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

Today's training was great, everyone loved it.......not!
Bloody legs cannot even stand straight.
My dad and bro only know how to laugh at my walking.
Feeling irrtated!
Cause i had a bad day....
Morning while walking to school saw a rat by the pasar malam stall which i think is quite common, wanna consider twice before eating?
Then i came across a big fat cat.
I am not afraid of cats but i dislike them.
Cause they got eyes that can go right through you.
Then i waddled home, literally.
I am running out of chinese books to read, sian.
Going back to my tv.
Hate it when people mistake me for a non-chinese.
Which part of me do i freakin look like a non-chinese.
Blind people.
Recently my temper has been very bad cause of mood swings so try to stay away :I
Some things just change very fast.
You just stay out for a few days and things are just not the same anymore.
Its the sense of belonging i guess.
Its important for human beings you know.

不知道为什么，莫名的泪水擅自流下，
看着你突然有种陌生感，才知道伤是需要时间复原的，
对于别人的误解我也懒得再解释些什么，
因为就连最亲的人也未必能体谅，甚至完全不在乎。
我还能依赖谁呢？

PS:

2010-03-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

Ps: Photos of holiday and dive trips will be uploaded another time.

Pain is what i endure.

2010-03-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

Hey people i'm back from bohol.
i did not become backer, yay!
Haha.
Once i came back i have rashes and middle ear problems.
Hate antibiotics.
Then friday we went to run the most infamous BUKIT TIMAH HILL.
Asshole hill.
Run until my legs damn sore.
Today went for 3 on 3.
We won one and lost one.
More tomorrow.
Please please let my legs recover.
Currently just finished watching xia yi zhan xing fu and jiu xiang lai zhe ni.
Hooked to television nowdays.
Don't feel like using com except to play neopet with house fish.
Long time never go 588 lo.
没那么简单 is a very nice song everyone can try listening.
Going to bed lo hope we can win tmr :D
Bye.

变得实际，也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单，一久也习惯
不想拥有太多情绪
相爱没有那么容易，每个人有他的脾气
过了爱做梦的年纪，轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没那么容易，才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪，曾经最掏心，所以最开心
曾经。

想念最伤心，但却最动心，的记忆。

Cebu

2010-03-10T16:37:00.000-08:00

Byebye people!
leaving for cebu now, currently at airport.
Things happen and i think i need a break.
Will be back in 7 days.
Happy studying..
Wait for the darker me to be back.
For all you might know things will change for the better.
Seeya.

Please hate me.

Walawala Bangbang

2010-02-28T05:08:00.000-08:00

Found a song call 老情歌 by 吕方.
Its really a very nice song okay.
I know you all must be thinking wich era it belongs to and it seems weird for me to listen this kind of song BUT its really nice!
Whats wrong with oldies.
People always laugh at me..... -.-""""
Today actually wanted to go dive shop and go ngeeann ball but all cancelled.
So went to cut hair with shermaine, jiayu and jiahui.
me and shermaineeeee cut bangs.
Okay, maybe hers not much of bangs but mine is funny, real funny.
Don't worry, you guys won't be seeing much of it.
Lazy to post all the overdue photos so go my facebook to see photos of me.
Colin left (again) so wish him best of luck.
And..... to some irritating asshole(w/o S) stop messing things up and act like you're sorry.
Think you got FC you big ah.
Stomach big only.
Will be going diving at Dayang from 12-14 march.
Can't wait!!!!! I miss diving soooooooooooooo badly.
Anyone wanna come??
Had steamboat for dinner tonight now damn full.
TOMMRROW IS OUR SEMIFINALS!!!!
People playing jiayou okay!
We eat veggies!
I know what to expect. :D
Goodluck teammates.

人说情歌总是老的好，走遍天涯海角忘不了
我说情人却是老的好，曾经沧海桑田忘不了。

Chinese New Year's eve.

2010-02-13T04:07:00.000-08:00

Happy CNY to all :D
past few days alot things happened but i am too lazy to post. Haha
Doubt i will post next few days either.
Currently finding it hard to post cause i am half drunk. :p
Drank quite abit of 12 years chivas.
My family gambling but i decided to post first, good right.
Yesterday went to play ball at 213 then 588 miss alot alot balls. Asshole.
Alot retarded ant cool pictures at cass, jiahui and yahui de facebook.
22 next match strongly believe we can win. Jiayou ba.
New Year is here means $$$.
Hope to buy some people's birthday present by friday ;D
Going back to my steamboat and dirnking choya. Ps. maybe posting old pictures some other day.
Bye c:

Free dinner :D

2010-02-05T08:29:00.000-08:00

Today i missed POA night study, again. Haha.
Sorry Ms Goh for skipping lesson again cause i am really tired after training.
Doubt i can study anyway.
Can't wait for my Poa results man.
Currently having 2 F9, 1 A1 & 1 C5 i think.
If only everything was as easy as chinese the world will be a better place.
Today lessons as usual, enjoy sitting with barbie doll tzeling.
Haha. Very fun to make fun of her eh.
Had training at 2. Spent alot alot time on underbasket.
I missed alot of it. Kinda pull everyone down.
Just don't get why will get scared. Lousy heart.
During training Jiahui, Cass & Siyi got injured.
Recover soon! Like now...
Training was quite fun, or at least not boring.
Sunday going ngeeann & dinner with xu jl. Hope its fun.
After training our kind Potato coach treat us pasta mania. Yay!
Haha. Very fattening, omg!
Guilty....
CNY coming cannot get fat or else the group of aunties won't let you off.
After training went 588 a while, soooo long since i last went.
Joanne Tang Jing Wen just recover from hand foot mouth don't get close to her. Haha.
Tomorrow going swimming with her hope i don't get it from her.

Monday's match against NBS can win de okay!
We use our 杀人 and 挟人 against vegetables!
We power one okay!

PS. My fingers are just getting from bad to worse, all like plastic.
I hate living without fingerprints.
Its like to weird.
I wan fingerprints on my IC laaaaaaaa.
Very painful and tear so easily.
Dumb doctors all useless one.
Just being random.
Bye :D

Mind-reading.

2010-02-02T06:15:00.000-08:00

Today there was no lesson cause of resilient workshop.
Seriously learnt alot and find that the instructor is a really cool guy.
After workshop went junior's training to da dui.
Quite fun eh :D.
Some juniors are good, way better than us when we were sec one.
When home and got cake for my grandpa but he refused to come home and celebrate with us.
So we ate the cake and left some for him.
Cannot stand it when he rather go drinking with his friends and see some china aunty.
Oh well, i can't say anything anyway.
i always got the urge to learn kapap when i go for those workshops!
just that i don't dare to.
Haha. Alot of guys don't want me to learn either.
I learnt a teeny weeny bit on psychology. Anyone needs a doctor?
Found out that i am more prone to jumping to conclucions, personalization and mind reading.
My negative beliefs are Namby-pamby, I stink and fairy-tale.
I also have test anxiety since primary school.
My mantras are "Nobody believe in me" and "Nothing is wrong with black".
Its all quite true you know. i always expect people to understand me and things to go my way in a fairy tale.
So anyone wanna know yourself better come to me!!!!
Yay! :d
I should be doing chi compo now but i lost all my motivation so i shall leave it for tomorrow.
Which i most likely won't do too.
So have to delay deadline AGAIN.
I suck as a student. Duh.
Why can't i just be like zicheng man.
Sad case.
song for today is 分开以后 by 唐禹哲 :D

Yidao jiayou!
Monday must do our best :D
A team which produce genius!

Won third match.

2010-02-01T05:50:00.000-08:00

After 4 years first time xu jl told me i done well and i improve alot.

First time i feel that maybe all the effort i put in isn't going down the toilet bowl.

My nose just became very sour and i didn't know what to reply him.

Really greatful for all his teachings these few years, he is a great coach.

Vivian hurt her leg and accompany her so sbw to see chinese doctor.

Walk home with weiting. Suddenly realise how long i didn't walk that road.

Its so familar yet so strange. Every where i look i see memories.

On bus back play with jiayu and coach but wasn't really happy.

First quarter of match i was really enthu but after that lost everything just to one person.

Felt like a bitch.

Went home late and started blogging yeah.

The song for the day shall be 旧伤 by 黄靖伦。
I've been bugging weiting whole day with this song.

Haha. Kinda represent how i am feeling now.

The lyrics are damn meaningful okay.

Pictures above taken during dinner with family. Together with a few pictures of coach, jiahui and weiting in bus :D

某一天面对无辜泪水旧伤又复发, 有些话没有人能去讲心情被锁上, 潜意识只想逃所以爱远方.

Past-

I thought i had everything under control you know, but once you apper you mess up my everything. i can't even take my mind off anything related to you.

Present-
I am sorry for everything okay, i know i should not be thinking about all these but the past ain't easy to forget. i feel like a bitch. A total asshole. Neglecting you and being too busy all these while.

你给我的爱仿佛总是太多，

你给我的情仿佛也是太过，

应为过多的感情是沉重的负荷，

让我不能拒绝又难以接受。

对我或许是一种压力。

《我家种的漂亮小花

2.03 a.m

2010-01-30T10:03:00.000-08:00

2.03 a.m and what am i doing awake?
i was watching shall we dance and my dad just promised to let me learn ballroom after my Os.
Great. The show i mean.
Maybe going diving with dad during march holidays i guess.
Didn't get to dive since he went china.
Kinda miss the peace you get underwater.
So i am going swimming tomorrow, morining i mean. Just to practice a little.
I want my english to improve soooooo badly.
I wanna stop failing my subjects.
I wanna get good grades for everything.
I wanna do something for the team.
So many things i wanna do going through my mind now but i know i will wake up saying ' All those can wait'.
Damn. Where did all my motivation go.
I am bloody tired now yet i am too lazy to get my ass of the sofa to go to bed.
Today wad kinda simple.
Woke up went for breakfast with mum, aunt, sis, dad and sarah.
Carry sarah until my hands were sore.
Went for tution, came back and camp in front of tv till 2.
Just realised my secondary school life was either too boring or in a mess.
Can i just hide in the mountains with a few huskies and live my life, like what i read in my book.
Not quite possible right?
I know.
My blog is such a bore and it will continue to be i guess.
Its all about me and my life.
Too lazy to post pictures maybe tomorrow.
Bye bored people :)

Sorry for neglecting, Sorry for being busy, Sorry for being such a failure.
I really hope you can and will understand, me.

What you feel?
也许你觉得卿卿我我, 才能显出情深意浓, 所以你说我忽冷忽热难以捉摸
What i feel?
两情若已是天长地久,你我何必朝朝朝暮暮,问你是不是真心真意与我同行....

The Genius is back.

2010-01-29T07:33:00.000-08:00

Okay, after so long i finally got the mood to blog AGIAN.
Recently D&T and Northzone occupied all my time and made me neglect alot of other stuff.
D&t is freaking hard!
Like seriously.
Do 5 problem situation and skip to ideation within 1 week? Its IMPOSSIBLE!
Like duh! -.-"
That rambutan didn't even let us do research or even look at our progress.
Asshole! Think you gay and freaky i will be scared of you uh.
Not!..
Had training today, not really tough but i suck.
Get it?
Sometimes really wonder why the hell am i even trying.
During sec 2 basketball was like the only reason i am living.
Now to me it is just something i fail in.
Always being slow and stupid. Can't help feeling bloody inferior.
I tried okay, maybe just not hard enough.
Don't understand why my brains and my actions just can't match.
The feeling of Bench warmers & the refill-water-girl just keep staying there.
Its not that we don't put in as much effort as others okay, just that we are in a sense not that gifted. We are used to being taken for granted anyway. Right?
I wanna get my old motivation back. Help, anyone?
Those times when i play basketball everyday after school and gym during weekends.
At least i felt happy and enjoyed those games. No stress no nothing.
Now i sort of lost that feeling, somehow.
I am just getting more and more depressed after every match/training.
No skill, stamina, brains.
Basically i am just there to be another 'heater' & 'decoration'.
At least i got my jersey and an excuse to shut the mouths of those who used to (maybe will again) laugh at me for wasting 4 years of my life in something i totally suck at.
Crying ain't gonna help. I know. But at least i won't go crazy of thinking too much.
The last year of basketball, i will try to enjoy every second that i can stay in that court to replace someone else. Or at least enjoy cheering i guess.
Idk why they hate being scolded but it is better than walking around and no one cares a shit about what you do.
But i still wish all the best for the team cause you girls are strong, very strong.
So strong that i feel that my existence is there to pull you girls down.
Studies wise haven't change much.
Chinese, Humans, Maths, Dnt are my main focus and Poa, English & Science i just have no idea what to do with them.

Not trying to be emo or anything just let me cry the shit out and eveything will be fine. I hope.
Wow. I wrote so much already. Haha.
Kay i am going to bed in case i start eating.
Bye :))